Speak with law enforcement, your landlord or homeowners association representative. However, most people will be hurt if they are deflected rudely, so take that into consideration. Use direct, but firm comments to tell the person you are not interested in answering the question. Here is another money question that doesn’t deserve an answer. She covers professional, social, children's, wedding, and funeral etiquette. It reduces you to the level of the person who started it. Chances are that they will be so shocked they will either forget all about their question to you, or they will realize their faux pas and be utterly embarrassed which serves them right. Focus on something more relevant. It can also make a bad situation worse, create hard feelings, and make you look worse than the person who asked the nosy question. However, being the polite person you are, you might answer with something like, “I paid the going market value for houses in the neighborhood.

Before you walk out the door each day, make the decision to maintain good manners and not be that nosy person. Get kid-friendly recipes, fun activities plus parenting tips delivered right to your inbox. Both my partner and I are extremely busy with work and finishing school. If possible, use humor to soften your response, and then change the subject. There are some rude things you should never say, regardless of the situation. Copyright © 2020 Leaf Group Ltd., all rights reserved. Look the neighbor straight in the eye and tell them you demand that they respect your privacy and expect them to stop such behaviors immediately.
You have the right to deal with neighbors who invade your privacy. Although everyone slips up now and then, some nosy people seem to have a knack for always sticking their foot in their mouth or making some social faux pas. The most important thing to remember is that responding to rudeness with rudeness rarely accomplishes anything. For times that you find yourself in the awkward position of being interrogated by a rude person, you need to arm yourself with some answers that will let him or her know that you consider the questions rude. The person might be a neighbor, a coworker or a friend.

Collect evidence of your neighbor's spying behavior. Whoever she is, you need strategies for getting around her. Introducing "One Thing": A New Video Series, The Spruce Gardening & Plant Care Review Board, The Spruce Renovations and Repair Review Board, ”Why would you ask such a rude question?”, ”I have a policy not to discuss that topic with anyone it doesn’t concern.”, Pause, smile, and say, “Did you really just ask me that?”, ”I’m not even touching that topic. Some people seem to think that they have a right to be rude and ask any question they want. Some nosey neighbors may take their prying ways to a new level and peer into your life through your windows, doors or even by using modern technology that is readily available.

Law enforcement and the homeowners association may also provide you with a case number that you can refer to in order to check on the progress of your complaint. Her work has appeared in "Imagination, Cognition and Personality" and "Dreaming: The Journal of the International Association for the Study of Dreams." Call ahead and pick a time to talk. You Might be Making These Etiquette Mistakes, How to React to Inappropriate Funeral Behavior, How to React When Friends Humiliate You in Public, How to Have Good Personal Relationship Etiquette. Lumi Images/Hudolin-Kurtagic / Getty Images.

Be Prepared . One of the best ways to answer nosy questions is to turn it back on them. Step 1. If you are still single, tell the person that you haven’t found someone you want to spend your life with, but if you ever do, you’ll get the word out to everyone who needs to know. If you are pregnant, chances are you have announced it to everyone you want to know. You may answer the question and move on to another topic, but you don't have to. Since the nosy person is being rude by asking the question, you don't necessarily have to be nice.

↓ next ↓ 3. We have no HOA, but one of our neighbors has dubbed herself “neighborhood mayor”, cue massive eye roll. How about you?” That should get the point across that you don’t want to honor the rude question with an answer. This can depend on how comfortable you feel interacting with your neighbor. Regardless of the authority you choose, be sure to have them provide you with documentation that you have made a complaint. Maura Banar has been a professional writer since 2001 and is a psychotherapist.

Deflect the nosy person with the use of jokes, sarcasm or other comments to keep from answering the question. Do not try to salvage the conversation.

There is such an abundance of rude questions – and people who ask them – that you could spend all day thinking of answers and quips. The onus of proof, however, is on the individual who believes a neighbor is spying on her. It's up to you whether or not you want to give them an answer, ignore them, or ask why they need to know whatever it is. When explaining your concerns to your neighbor, stick to facts and don't infer anything. If you are already in the situation of having nasty neighbors, here are nine fail-safe strategies: 1. I think they took us for renters and tried to get us in trouble with our landlord by sending my parents a complaint (no complaint was ever filed with us). Don’t fall for it.
For times that you find yourself in the awkward position of being interrogated by a rude person, you need to arm yourself with some answers that will let him or her know that you consider the questions rude. Few things are as annoying -- and as difficult to deal with -- as someone who asks nosy, prying questions. Keep changing the subject until the person gets the message. Avoid rude or awkward questions with friends and coworkers. If you believe that your neighbor is spying on you, consulting with a legal professional can provide you with the next course of action. You have the right to deal with neighbors who invade your privacy. Banar received her Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Buffalo State College and her Master of Arts in mental health counseling from Medaille College. Give one-word answers. State how you feel about having the conversation, how you would prefer if she didn't ask any more questions and then walk away. Most people will accept that, but others who are extremely rude might press or insult you to get their answer. In addition, "Stephanie's Law" was signed into law in 2003 in New York after a landlord was caught videotaping Stephanie Fuller in her apartment. These people are often unaware that they're exhibiting bad etiquette, but even if they know what they're doing, you should never stoop to getting back at them with bad manners. Another thing you might do is answer with a quippy, “Enough to pay my bills and have a little fun,” or “Not nearly enough to do everything I’d like to do. Instead of wasting your valuable time, have a few standard replies that work in a variety of situations. Lampert obtained an associate's degree in nursing from Mercyhurst College Northeast. If possible, use humor to soften your response, and then change the subject. Many newlyweds get asked this question. Redirect the person by asking her questions in response, such as why she wants to know or needs to know. To My Nosy Neighbor, There you are again, peering through your window at every sound we make, at every thing we do. By using The Spruce, you accept our, Henglein and Steets/ Cultura/ Getty Image. In other words, ignore him. // Leaf Group Lifestyle, How to Deal With Stomping From an Upstairs Neighbor, How to Legally Change a Child's Last Name, How to Report a Family Member of Welfare Fraud Anonymously, How to Make a Complaint to Mississippi CPS, How to Report Verbal Abuse Against a Disabled Person, Community Associations Institute: Building Better Communities, American Bar Association: Chapter 7: Love Your Neighbor: How to Keep Petty Annoyances from Turning into Major Headaches, National District Attorneys Association: Voyeurism Statutes 2009. When the rude person appears confused, say, “Bill and I thought we’d wait a couple of years before starting a family.” And then don’t wear that outfit again or add a belt if you don't want to get asked that same question again. For example, you might say, "We offer discounts to seniors, so when you qualify you can save some money.". There are several ways to handle these people: with the answer they are looking for, with a quippy comeback, or with a way of letting them know that you consider them boorish for asking such a question.

When someone comes right out and makes this terribly insensitive remark, smile and say, “I’m feeling wonderful. It’s a question asked by a well-meaning relative or close friend who wants you to be happy. The Spruce uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. You can also talk to your neighbors about what’s bothering you. They’re griping about a 2x2 patch of weeds. Don't ask someone's age, unless you are in the medical field and need to know for health reasons, you're selling a product that requires the buyer to be over a certain age, or you're a cashier offering a senior discount.

Certain rude questions tend to come up more frequently than others. We've all been asked rude questions that are no one else's business. However, hearing it over and over will make you anything but happy. Confrontation, however, can be effective in letting your neighbor know that you are aware of the spying. Being a so-called "peeping Tom" is considered to be a kind of voyeurism and is illegal in most municipalities.